The Full Shebang – Rewritten with Aussie Banter
On Thursday morning around 10:30 am, Northland Shopping Centre got a whiff of drama—not the bargain-bin perfume kind, but actual smoke. FYI: not a cunning plan, just a busted lighting fixture throwing a tantrum.
Cue the shrill alarm, the PA announcing “evacuate now!”, and a scramble that would put Olympic sprinters to shame. Shoppers poured out faster than a uni populace on Freedom Day.
Photos floating around on social showed smoke belching from the Myer entrance—not the kind of fog you want between you and your flat white.
Fire Rescue Victoria soon confirmed it wasn’t an arsonist, but a misbehaving electrical light that was puffing out smoke. Paramedics were on standby, probably ready to treat panic attacks over smoke-related commotion.
Let’s rewind 24 hours: A white Toyota LandCruiser, allegedly nicked from Ivanhoe East on June 2, ploughed through Northland under police pursuit. Sliding through smashed doors and crushing bollards, it made “morning commute” look tame. The driver bailed near Northcote, leaving a scene straight out of a car-chase blockbuster.
Police nabbed a 27‑year‑old bloke early Thursday—and he’s now in for a cosy chat with detectives.
And if you think that’s it, hold onto your sun hats: last month, a machete-fuelled brawl involving around 10 people shut the centre down. A 20‑year‑old copped serious injuries, with seven crooks charged—and at least three of them were already on bail at the time.
“Trouble at Northland”
| Incident Type | Date (2025) | Time | People Affected | Charges / Cause |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Machete Brawl | May 25 | ~2:30 pm | ~10 people | 7 charged; serious injury to 1; on-bail offenders |
| Car Smash Incident | June 18 | Afternoon | Multiple shoppers | Stolen car; driver rammed police & centre |
| Smoke Evacuation | June 19 | ~10:30 am | All shoppers | Faulty electrical light; no charges |
(Note: date of car incident inferred as June 18, day prior to Thursday – confirm via local time: June 19 is Thursday.)
Northland’s Hat Trick of Chaos: A Rolling Timeline
| Date | Event | What Went Down |
|---|---|---|
| May 25, 2025 | Machete Brawl | About 10 individuals got stabby at Northland. Centre locked down. One man seriously injured. Seven charged. Three were already on bail. What a résumé. |
| June 18, 2025 | LandCruiser Rampage | A white Toyota, allegedly stolen, sped through the centre—smashed doors, flattened bollards, missed shoppers by inches. Suspect dumped the car and bolted. |
| June 19, 2025 | Smoke Evacuation | False fire drama: an electrical light went rogue, filling Myer’s entrance with smoke. Alarms rang, shoppers legged it like it was Black Friday at Bunnings. |
Northland Shopping Centre has become a magnet for headline-worthy drama: a machete melee, a rogue LandCruiser, then rogue lighting. Three consecutive major scares in under a month isn’t exactly VIP service—more like a sideshow.
Victoria Police and Fire Rescue are having more screen time than your average soap opera. If Northland doesn’t start offering popcorn with your flat white, shoppers might just skip it for quieter haunts.
